The Hardest Goodbye- dedicated to Jane

[thax guys, for the comments. Andrew, despite the fact that u fully disagree wif me, i fully hav to retort it... coz i seriously don think i'm as cute as my frenz hey. i might be a tiny winy bit cute, but yeh.. still opposite. =P. Ben, ahahah, thax for takin my lousy advice =P. much appreciated. bro, ur theory kinda... ok.. i won't comment =P. does dat mean u think i'm cute? cheers, hui, lotsa love, sis.]

Now it can be openly spoken about. That blog about my depression stage, where i bowled my eyes out for a whole entire day. Basically, TCP - The Cutie Pie - was my fren, Jane. She told me about how she was to move school next year, but, to make matters worst, next term. That was when I couldn't take it anymore, that was when all my care, love for her exploded. Frustration was also somewhat mixed with the complexity of my feelings for her, that day that she told me. That day...

Well, after that emotional outburst, I took all my other frenz' advice, and slowly recovered. Monday and Tuesday of skewl felt extremely awkward talking to TCP, as I knew what was coming. I knew. We all knew. Jane acted as if she wasn't worried... but now, everyone's getting emotional. Jane herself in particular of course... and I've been lending her a shoulder nearly everyday since Wednesday, without my contribution to tears. I've been playin the strong part to help her up, to make her leave without regrets, to let her leave without worries. Tomorrow will be the last day that I see her in Rossmoyne uniform, and I don't think I'm strong enough to play the older sister from now on. Liz is being so extremely nice on MSN right now, she's comforting me and understanding me so much that I thought was impossible. I would like to take this time not only to let my grief out, but also to thank all of my frenz out there who are simply there- whether providing support or listening. Frenz are so important to me... and... being separated with one doesn't seem enough in my life, as I have parted with so many frenzship that it hurts.

The hardest goodbye, tomorrow, I shall await. I sincerely hope it wouldn't come, but my rational matured mind is overwriting my naive childlike dreams- time moves on, whether I like it or not. Depression will once again haunt me for another period of time, except this time a lot longer, even though I know I have not 4ever parted with TCP. Through typing this blog, I'm at the breech of tears. I just can't cry it all out yet, but it will definitely come tomorrow.

{Jane, I will look back and laugh at the tears (Katie will be watching), I will try to move on and I hope you do too. I hope you will still be as happy as you were at Rossmoyne with the gang, as well as all the others that you have treasured. Thank you for being with me nearly throughout my life in Australia, thank you for your love, thank you for your care, thank you thank you thank you... my endless thanks to you Jane, as I will always treasure you as my friend. I know we will still be able to see each other and be frenz, but it will be different. I hope the only thing that is not different, is our frendship- I speak out for all the others as well, as we will definitely experience a BIG change in atmosphere in skewl. Endless care and love, Hui Hui.}

Staying strong, I will try. Except, tomorrow.